Editor’s blog: Black holes, lost discs and sick parrots

Firstly, the crisis surrounding Northern Rock seemed to be getting worse and worse. It now seems obvious that the whole fiasco is going to end up costing Johnny Taxpayer a vast mound of cash. Any talk of the entire bulk of the emergency lending being repaid has virtually disappeared. The further anyone looks into Rock’s books the uglier it gets with new talk of mortgages already in hock in the Channel Islands. The government is now quite desperate to get the problem removed but the vultures circling the stricken bank will want their pickings cheap. They know they have the controlling hand (or talon) and it won’t be going any deeper into their feathery pockets than absolutely necessary.And that includes Virgin.

Secondly, those child benefit CDs. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… In the last 48 hours I’ve received a inbox full of blood-curdling emails from Net Security outfits predicting all sorts of dire consequences as a result of the worst government lost-in-the-post saga since Margaret Thatcher’s P45 went AWOL. I don’t wish to sound like an apologist for an inexcusable cock-up and breach of procedure by those feckless amateurs up in Washington, Tyne and Wear… But isn’t the most likely outcome that those discs have slipped down the back of some DSS restroom sofa or other, rather than wound up in the hands of ruthless Romanian identity-stealing mafia gangs or worse still, as has been suggested, a band of predatory paedophiles. I bet a huge proportion of the population every day chucks letters containing exactly the same data as was on the discs into their rubbish or recycling bags without giving it a second thought.

Thirdly, the football. God, this left me so depressed I almost booted the cat. Next June/July will be gruesome as we are left with nothing more than our cricketing boys taking a hiding from the South Africans to keep us amused. It’s too simple to lay this disaster at the door of that dolt McClaren (I hear David Beckham says McClaren was the only manager he never felt scared of). Those grim, grey-suited fat heads who run the game are a woeful crew. I’m with The Sun in advocating we get rid of the lot of them. Here’s my line-up for a new FA board: Chair: Jose Mourinho, assisted by Simon Cowell, Sir Terry Leahy, HRH Prince Edward, Gerald Ratner and that nice Sarah Beeny from “Property Ladder.” With that line-up how can we lose? (Unless we put Carson in goal, perhaps.)